Wedding Series | Part 1

“When God calls you to marry, He gives you a spouse who, by divine design, will complete you. Together you will be stronger and more effective than when you were apart.” 
― David Boehi, Preparing for Marriage: Discover God's Plan for a Lifetime of Love

That time in your life has come. You've said yes to the man of your dreams and now it's time to plan the most beautiful moment you will share with your soon to be life-long partner.

When my husband and I were planning our wedding the following are some things that I took away from the countless wedding videos I watched on YouTube and read in multiple wedding magazines.

19 Tips to Help You Plan Your Wedding- Part 1

1. Set a Budget

The goal of wedding success is setting a realistic budget. 

First, sit with your spouse and jot down what your personal contributions will be and whether or not you will be expecting monetary donations for any of your wedding expenses. 

Once that is done, discuss the possibility of a loan and the pros and cons of each. For some a loan may be feasible, for others not so much, so it is important to get this part done early on so that you can realistically adjust your wants and needs.

The budget will be the most tedious part of your wedding planning, however, it is the most important aspect as it sets the tone for everything else that follows.

If you have a savings set aside specifically for components of your wedding, that is amazing! Utilize it. You will be glad that you started planning and saving for your special day. 

2. Prioritize your "Must-have's"

Every wedding website, blog and YouTube channel that is geared towards basic wedding planning, talks about prioritising your "must-have's."

A must-have is something that you or your spouse will not compromise on. You will see how important a realistic budget is when you start to delve into the nitty-gritty of your wedding planning. For my husband and I, we did have some differences, however for the most part our priorities were the same.

We both agreed that food and photography were both items we wanted to stand out for our wedding. Added to my list was also venue and decoration, however for my husband as long as it was beautiful he was fine.

Grab that wedding planner of yours (which can be a legal pad of paper with all your thoughts and clippings added to it) and divide it in half and start listing things in order of importance that you want to include in your wedding.

The first five spots should be for the most important items. Once you're done, share the list with your partner and as you continue to plan and receive quotes, plug those quotes next to each item.

3. Create your Pinterest Wedding Board

Now, we already know you've done this before setting your budget. But sadly, you're now going to have to create a new one. Why? you may ask. Well, that first board, was created when you were dreaming, thinking about everything, skimming all the wedding trends and aimlessly saving everything that caught your eye because they were cute. 

This new board is one you will create with your partner. If you choose to have a professional wedding planner, this will also serve as a realistic inspiration board filled with nothing but the things you want (with several options) at your wedding. 

You can also add your bridal party to this board if you wish, so that everyone can see your theme and become excited for your event. 

After our board was created, we made another board within that one that was shared with our bridal party and wedding planner and the other was for us to share with one another as we were mostly long distance during the remainder of our wedding planning process. It worked well for us and allowed him to see exactly how I envisioned certain things to be executed when words simply didn't suffice. 

You can view our board here that was shared with my matron of honour to get an idea of things I pinned while we planned. 

4. Set a Theme

This is the part you've been waiting on and probably the one that you began your planning around before you knew the importance of setting your budget first. 

Creating a theme that is unique to the both of you is the most exciting part of your wedding planning experience. It won't all be a bed of roses, because you won't be on the same page all of the time, but you will have fun toying around with all of the possibilities that exist. 

Like a budget, a theme helps with keeping you on track and allows your vendors to know your vision.  Since you've created your Pinterest board, now is the time to fill it only with the things that are relevant to your theme, that are practical, affordable and within your budget. 

Hear me out, the last thing you want to do is to add items to your board that are far-fetched and outside of your budget because it will set you up for heartache as your planning process continues and the money can no longer be stretched. 

Once your theme is set, you can now create boards within that main board that will house everything related to your wedding. For example, you can create a board dedicated to invitation ideas, nail designs, hairstyle etc. 

Can you see how easy setting a theme can be and how much stress can be eliminated when you're searching Pinterest or wedding sites for inspiration? 

5. Do-It- Yourself

This tip is not for everyone. So only consider this if you're a creative person and has some experience with "DIY" crafts. 

With DIY crafts, they can be cost effective if you live in an area where you can easily access craft items or thrift shops where you can find one of a kind pieces such as vintage mirrors or embellished trays that can add a certain twist to your overall venue decor. 

If you do plan on doing some crafts yourself that will be incorporated into your overall wedding decorations, be sure to speak with your vendor so you're both on the same page in regards to the placement of certain items on the day. 

For our wedding, I decided to create one of a kind wooden wedding signage that would be incorporated throughout our venue that would tie in to the setting and theme and serve as information posts for the flow of the wedding since we opted not to have menu cards, seat assignments or ceremony programs. 

This was not my first time creating wooden signs, but it was my first time creating so many and such an assortment. I was sought out months before to assist one of my colleagues by creating her wedding signs, and while at first I was terrified and lacked confidence in creating something she would love, I took a deep breath, accepted the challenge and allowed my creative juices to flow. 

She provided the wood (already stained) since her fiancé' at the time is handy with some nails and a hammer and all I did was bring it to life with her designs for them. This was the plunge I needed to save money for my wedding and to provide pieces for other brides long after my wedding day. 

Utilize things you already have at your fingertips and incorporate the help of your bridal party to create one of a kind pieces that can add to your special day. 

"Here Comes the Bride" dog sign

"Almost There"-Directional Sign 

"Order of Events" Ceremony & Reception Sign. Cut the cost of having printed programs

Up to the day of still working on our Signature Drinks sign.

This is definitely one opportunity for you to have lots of fun with your wedding decorations and to wow your guests at a fraction of the cost. 

If I had to do it all over again, I would have spoken directly to the decorator in regards to placement of the signs as everything was suppose to compliment each other if laid out correctly, instead the placement of the signs were left to the discretion of the wedding planner unbeknownst to me. At the end of the day, no one was none the wiser except for my husband and I and my mother. 

6. Day-Of Coordinator or Wedding Planner

This one for me was a tough decision to make simply because my wedding was planned for a time when I was still in the throws of my internship program with it's hectic schedule and uncertainties. 

Being someone who typically plans on a daily, it was not something that was impossible, just not something I thought that I could tackle effectively under the circumstances of a busy work schedule. After I watched my favourite wedding YouTuber, Jamie Wolfer, (seriously, I binged watched all of her wedding planning videos), I was able to make a decision. She outlined the differences between a day-of coordinator and a wedding planner and gave me some things to consider. 

While everything was pointing in the direction of hiring a day-of coordinator, I went with a wedding planner. Prior to choosing my wedding planner, I had done all of my research on the necessities such as photographer, food vendors, cake design and top three possible wedding cake makers and decided on our venue. The baton literally was just passed over to her and her team to schedule appointments for tastings, walk-throughs and negotiating prices to ensure we were within our budget. 

One thing that I'm glad I went with a wedding planner for were the options for make-up and food. No one I knew recommended the vendors she did and they came in well under budget for us. 

A day-of coordinator basically shows up a few weeks out from your wedding day to ensure all of the details are squared away and will be executed well on the day of your wedding. As you can imagine the wedding planner is there from the beginning, to relieve the anxiety of planning one of the most anticipated days of your lives. 

For those of you who are well trained in the realm of planning, a day-of coordinator may be right up your alley, but be sure to do your research when searching for different necessary services. Some wedding planners offer these services with an additional fee if they're only hired as a day-of coordinator so be mindful of this. 

7. Consolidate Services

As much as possible, wherever you can, consider consolidating services.

By this I mean, consider for example using one venue for your ceremony and reception rather than paying two separate fees for two venues. This reduces the cost and allows you to remain in one place without the hassle of having to travel elsewhere to finish your festivities.

Since we had an outdoor themed wedding, we were able to pay one price for the reception and ceremony and we got to utilize the grounds (all areas of it) for photography as well. Our guests were 'transported' to a different setting for each component of the day and this was intentional as it made for a smooth transition and for guests to not feel boxed into a venue. They were given the opportunity to explore the grounds and to take pictures with such a gorgeous backdrop.

If you're getting married in a hotel ballroom, this can be implemented as well. Consider renting two rooms, one that is arranged for the ceremony and the other for the reception or one room that can be repurposed to serve as the reception area as well. Be sure to have some form of entertainment for your guests to partake in during this transformation time.

Ask your wedding planner what other services they offer as you may be able to snag a deal. Our wedding planner was able to offer transportation services as well since our bridal party was so small for less than what most limousine rentals were charging. This was such a relief especially since our budget for this service was not large at all.

8. Keep it Small and Intimate

For most, the size of the guest list is the most stressful part of planning. 

If your family is anything like mine-LARGE- then you already know what lies ahead for you. Everyone will be expecting an invitation. However, this is just unrealistic especially if you're paying for everything out of pocket without any form of monetary contribution. 

This is where your priorities come in. Based on that list you created, and what you're not willing to compromise, can you afford the wedding you want if you invite all of your cousins and their children?  Highly unlikely, unless of course you're sitting on one hefty trust fund. 

Initially I was okay with 150 persons, but this drastically changed once those numbers starting adding up just for the cost of each place setting for one person, right down to the fork. So after the tally and our first rough draft we reduced it to 50 persons minus the vendors. 

Since my husband is from Trinidad and Tobago and not most of his family or friends were able to fly in for it given the cost of travel, and accommodations etc. we decided on a maximum of 80 persons inclusive of vendors (oh you have to include them into your number as well otherwise they become a hidden fee) and this is what we went with. 

It worked out well and I wouldn't have it any other way. It was what we wanted from the beginning, a vintage-styled backyard "lime" (gathering). 

Since I was till praying for a financial miracle, we still ordered and issued 150 invitations (roughly), but let me tell you, it was nerve-wrecking when those "accepts" began to roll in and it seemed as though no one was about to "decline with regret." Don't, I repeat DO NOT do this. Decide on your maximum and minimum number and what works for your budget. 

My decorator is just amazing! She arranged the ceremony seating in such a way, where it was intimate and cozy yet clean and comfortable as well. 

One of our favourite photos. That down-home family affair. It doesn't appear to be a limited amount of people with this arrangement.

9. Cake 

Now onto the fun elements of wedding planning. When choosing your cake, take into consideration all of the things aforementioned. 

You want to revisit your budget to remind yourself of just how much you decided you were going to spend on your cake. Once you know what amount you're working with, you will be able to be transparent with your vendor in regards to what you can afford and what you are wanting. 

Locally, there are quite a few vendors who are beyond good at their craft. Some however, are more willing than others to work within your budget. You goal is to find the wedding cake vendor who is not only talented and skilled but who can relate to your financial situation and present you with options that can fit your design and overall theme. Bear in mind, if you're wanting a seven-tiered cake and only have $150.00 to spend, you will be disappointed. Remember when I mentioned being realistic, this applies here as well. 

My only wish for my cake was for it to fit our theme and to taste delicious. My husband on the other hand wanted a cake that had strawberry drippings and fresh strawberries around the cake and a strawberry filling (can you tell he really loves strawberries?).  Once I knew this, I took to Pinterest, searched for "naked wedding cakes" initially and pinned my favourites after consulting with him. The search process was taken up a notch, when I began considering other decorative renditions such as fresh florals and macarons. I made a few sketches, pinned my top three favourites to the wedding board that was shared with my wedding planner and forwarded my hand-drawn designs. 

Remember when I mentioned that I had done some research and then handed the baton over to my wedding planner? As part of my research, one vendor offered a free anniversary cake to persons who spent $500 on their cake and she offered a free cake tasting with ten flavour options. 

This was a no-brainer for us. We got two lovely cakes, initially we only wanted one, but since my mother's contribution to our special day was the cost of my wedding bouquet, boutonnieres, and matron-of-honour's  bouquet and our wedding cake, she wanted an additional cake for the house after the festivities, and who am I to question her wishes? In the end, I'm glad my mother decided on a separate cake and we didn't have to freeze our first tier for a year. 

These are little things you should be looking for when you consider your cake. The overall cost, tasting consultations whether or not it is free and if they offer anything like a free anniversary cake with a certain dollar amount. Also ask about cake toppers and alternatives to a cake if your guest list is massive. 

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This completes Part 1 of 19 Tips to Help you Plan your Wedding. There are so many things that goes into wedding planning and of course my list wouldn't cover everything you may be expecting to see, but it should touch on the vital components for planning a wedding. 

Part 2 will be published soon.  Until then, happy planning.