Strength in Weakness

“She made broken look beautiful
and strong look invincible.
She walked with the Universe
on her shoulders and made it
look like a pair of wings.” ― Ariana Dancu

It seems like yesterday, I was just sitting in the University's library preparing for final examinations. I'm half-way through my internship year and I must say despite it being a drastic change in learning styles, it has given me a greater appreciation for this opportunity of learning how to master certain skills in order to save lives. It requires a certain level of determination, discipline and camaraderie to conquer these skills. 

For the last three months, I found myself frustrated at the system, frustrated at the bitterness that seeps from the pores of Junior doctors who voluntarily signed up for a Senior House Officer position in the Department of Internal Medicine and frustrated at the overall outlook of seasoned, Consultants who knew more about criticising and degrading Junior staff than fostering an environment of growth, encouraging curiosity and the desire some Junior doctors have to advance academically. 

During these moments, it was the patient interaction which saved me time and again from throwing in the towel and allowing these frustrations to break my spirit and crush my curiosity and dampen those Eureka moments when things finally clicked in terms of putting the pieces together and understanding the molecular basis of pathology and the ways to combat further immunologic response (which tends to be the heart of most diseases). 

Beyond the service to others, my time in the department of Internal Medicine showed me the importance of strong communication skills and professionalism in all aspects; as the slightest break in the chain of communication between Physician and nursing staff could result in not only poor patient care, but even patient demise. At the end of the day we're all human, seeking respect from our peers, our superiors and from those with whom we come in contact with. It's as simple as that. Once there is no respect, then the system is damaged and the urge to seek revenge in the name of getting even because our feelings were hurt can take precedence over the oath we took to do no harm. 

Having to do it all over again in order to advance to the next phase as a Senior House Officer is going to be a whole other set of worms, to be honest, I don't care to deal with but such is life. Moving forward, I can only hope that I won't take my preconceived notions and the terrible experiences had into this opportunity to do it again. 

Here's to making broken look beautiful and strong look invincible in face of broken systems, disgruntled and overworked staff and patients frustrated with healthcare in The Bahamas.